A quick update on my life with Neville (stoma). I have recently met a lovely guy and I decided it was time to tell him about Nev. Let’s call him ‘Tom’. He knows about my Crohn’s disease – and was not bothered, but then he had never heard of it before.
We had a great date last weekend and I knew it was time… but the question was what was the best way to do it?!
I decided to write it down in a letter form. This way I could structure my thoughts logically and make sure I got my point across well.
So I have spent the last few days jotting down my thoughts and today I decided was the day to send the email to Tom. I was so nervous – I don’t know why though – if he had not been fine with Nev, I would have thought ‘sod you’! Nev is a great filter – he removes people in my life who are not worth getting to know.
Five minutes after sending it – he messages ‘I’ve read it – are you free to FaceTime?’. Aaaaah! My heart was racing. What would he say? What would he think?
After a few pleasantries – I asked what he thought of the email.
He was ok with it all. He was so lovely and kind. He said he likes me and isn’t bothered by Neville. He can see that I am happy and enjoying life so why should it be an issue? He said if I stayed at his house, to let him know if I needed anything to make it ok for me to stay. I was lost for words.
Happy. Is. An. Under-statement.
I feel relieved as I can now be myself completely. Tom was the first guy I have told about Nev since having him so it was a big deal.
Must dash and get ready for my next date with him.
Basically my main message to get across today is – don’t give up hope of finding someone who accepts all your scars, bumps and lumps. I really didn’t think it would happen for me – It may still all go pear-shaped but at least I have gained new confidence in my body and self which will serve me well for the future.